Our approach to assertiveness training is practical, not theoretical. We focus on each person's specific assertiveness issues and address them. We'll establish if people's self-perception of how assertive they are is correct. This is important because it helps if you know how you come
across
to others. Each delegate will receive constructive feedback on this, both from the facilitator and the other members
of the group.
Once we've got to grips with this, we'll identify changes that each person can make to improve their assertiveness skills. Delegates have a chance to practise these changes on the course. By the end of the course delegates will have a personal assertiveness plan to put into practice straightaway.
Our delegates leave the course with the confidence to .....
Speak up and be heard
Say No assertively
Be more charismatic and impressive when communicating
Tackle conflict diplomatically and assertively
Be more influential
Prepare properly before they speak
Some objectives to consider
Our assertiveness courses deal with the issues specific to each delegate; they can also be tailored to incorporate assertiveness issues specific to your company or team. Here are some examples of the assertiveness skills we can cover;
Looking and feeling more assertive when talking in front of a group of people
Saying NO with confidence and diplomacy
Being aware of how other people perceive you
Handling conflict with work colleagues effectively and diplomatically
Dealing with difficult people assertively
Using your physical presence and body language as an effective assertiveness tool
Overcoming any aggressive communication traits
Having the strength of mind and the skills to overcome shyness
Being aware of your strengths and weaknesses as an assertive communicator
Exploring different ways to be assertive by adapting the way you come across
Learning how disciplined preparation can help you to be more assertive
Converting nerves or anxiety into positive traits that work in your favour
Using work meetings as a focus for being more assertive
Maintaining a positive mindset
Find out more about assertiveness and using influence
What is real assertiveness? Assertiveness is having the ability to influence others. It is having the ability to put your point of view across confidently; this could be to do with making someone aware of your needs
or your concerns or it could just be about standing
up for yourself.
Can being more assertive help you to say 'No' rather than 'Yes' all the time?
Our assertiveness courses tackle this problem. You'll learn how to say 'No' when appropriate. You'll be amazed at what a difference this can make, not just in terms of your confidence levels but also in terms of your personal effectiveness. Learning to say 'No' on our assertiveness courses also improves your time management - you end up doing your own job
rather than everyone else's.
Can you be assertive if you are a shy person?
Some of the most assertive people are quiet, calm and measured. You'll have to speak though! You can't stay silent - that's how our assertiveness training courses can help you. We help you to come out of your shell confidently and to be more influential when necessary.
Can you be 'over-assertive'?
Some people come across as aggressive but don't realise that's how people are perceiving them. We'll tell you if this is the case and give you tips on how to calm your behaviour and communication style. You'll find it a lot easier to be sensitive when you are trying to be assertive after the course.
Is it important to understand how people see you? It's very important to know how you look and sound to others. On our assertiveness courses we give you the chance (optional) to be filmed. There's no better way to see how you come across. You'll benefit from the feedback we'll give you about yourself and your style throughout the day. Verbal and non-verbal communication is a key aspect of assertiveness. We can help you to adapt your style so that you can come across more assertively
by sounding and looking more professional
and
confident.
Some quick tips for looking and acting more assertively immediately
Voice
Your tone of voice will make a big difference to your level of assertiveness. 38% of the way your message is perceived comes from the tone of your voice. One way to control your tone is to take deep breaths. Taking a few long deep breaths if you feel ‘wound up’ or ‘panicky’ will help you to feel calmer. Being calmer when you talk makes you sound more assertive. Secondly, have a look at the way you speak; how fast do you talk? Talking quickly can be construed as submissive or aggressive. Do you shout or whisper?
Do you have a high pitched voice? Assertiveness is associated with a normal-paced message at a normal pitch.
Slow Down
Have you ever said something you've regretted immediately afterwards? If you need to be assertive, the worst thing to do is rush in and say the wrong thing. If you find yourself in a situation where assertiveness is called for, stop and pause for thought; make sure you assess your situation fully before you respond.
Interruptions
Do you find that people don’t always listen to your opinions and that some people interrupt you before you've finished speaking? If someone interrupts you while you're speaking - they're giving you a great opportunity to show your assertiveness. Stop and pause and then say something along the lines of 'Just a minute please, I haven’t finished yet'.
Positive thinking
The way you think will make a huge difference to your assertiveness. If you tell yourself that you're nervous, afraid or angry for example – your brain will start a chain reaction to set up behaviour that supports your belief. To overcome this and be more assertive, tell yourself that you are strong, safe and capable. Don't use negative or aggressive language when you do this. For example if you say to yourself 'I am not angry' your brain will pick up on the word angry. Instead, try saying something positive
to
yourself for example 'I am confident.' Practise regularly and you'll be amazed at how assertive you'll become.
Using 'I' language
It's often difficult to be assertive and not to sound aggressive. You can often sound bossy or patronising when using statements that start with 'you'. For example 'You should do that' or 'You must do this'. Non- assertive people often start their sentences with 'Don’t you think ...'. Change the way you start sentences by using 'I' for example; 'I appreciate how you feel' and 'This is how I feel'. Using 'I' language is especially useful when expressing negative feelings. It helps
you to focus your anger and therefore to act with more assertiveness.
Body Language
Do you cross your arms? Avoid eye contact? Clench your fists? These are some of the actions that could give the wrong message across. Remember, your body communicates 55% of your message. To look and act more assertively, try to limit your hand movements to soft and flowing movements to support your words. Try to retain eye contact. Try to be on the same physical level as the other person – for example if they stand up, don’t remain seated. All these things will go a long way to helping
you to look and act with lots more assertiveness.
